© CFA. 1994-2009. All
rights reserved. Updated October 1, 2009
Copyright Center for Awareness, Inc.
This section is designed to clarify the use of terminology in this book. Some familiar words are used in less than familiar context, and the meaning can be quite different depending on the understanding of the terms.
Generally, each term is explained in the text as it is introduced. For the words that don't show up here, consult a regular dictionary.
Acceptance- Ceasing to deny the existence of something; acknowledging something as true and being at ease with it
Accident- A self-destructive act disguised as an unexplained event, perpetrated by someone or something else. Never caused by something or someone "out there," accidents are usually the result of refusing to acknowledge previously more subtle signals that part of one's life is out of balance. Accidents are quick shifts in a person's life to correct these imbalances, just the way an earthquake releases stresses in the earth's crust that have been building for a while.
Activation- Discomfort caused by a feeling before it has integrated. Being around your ex-wife or ex-husband could be very activating, for example.
Addiction- Habits, started for the pleasure received, that are difficult to stop, even when it's clear continuing is unhealthy or self-destructive. Everyone is addicted to something or even several things. In itself, this is not the issue. The important thing is to pick safe, non-destructive addictions.
Adrenaline Rush- Feeling excitement is the result of extra adrenaline being dumped into the blood stream. This blast of energy can be created by both positive and negative situations. Falling in love is a positive instance. Getting angry is a negative one.
Affirmations- A technique used to establish all our behavior patterns. Consciously using affirmations means changing the negative beliefs to more positive ones, so that we create what we want out of life. Whatever we say, or whatever we are thinking, about life is what we experience. If the thought (affirmation) is, "Oh, I could never do that," then this is what we experience. The body literally acts out what we tell it, and achieving the affirmations- acting them out- reinforces them in our thinking. This is why the words we say have a major impact on the quality on life.
From conception on we make decisions about life and adopt them as our beliefs. These beliefs are like affirmations, being constantly repeated unconsciously. Using affirmations is initially an intellectual approach to changing unconscious beliefs and takes a period of time to gradually affect the old beliefs. (See Victim Consciousness)
Anesthesia- Any drug used to block awareness. Giving birth can be so painful for some women that use of drugs seems the only option. The trade-off is that for the child, all experience is exaggerated and leaves deep, lasting impressions. Anesthesia at birth generally creates several specific patterns in a person's life. These are people who often have a hard time staying in their bodies during strong emotional experiences. Frequently they feel drugs are necessary to maintain their balance.
Drugs that create loss of awareness include illicit drugs, and also include substances like coffee, nicotine, large amounts of food, as well as a number of over-the-counter drugs. All these substances are suppressive in nature in large enough doses, and block uncomfortable feelings.
Those born under anesthesia may also have: extreme emotional sensitivity such as clairvoyance, intuition, channeling; difficulty setting personal boundaries, passive behavior, addictive behavior in general; and greatly increased appreciation and talents for singing, writing, art, dance- the higher aesthetics.
Anger- Frustrated passion. The energy of anger is our passion for living. When it is not safe to express it as excited and creative involvement in our lives, passion can only come out as anger. (see Passion)
Astrology- The study of the planets in our solar system. Mathematical relationships between the planets and their position in the sky has been studied for over 5000 years, leading to observations about what certain angular relationships between the heavenly bodies mean, depending on the situation at hand. The astrological birth chart is a road map for our talents and challenges, and suggests the best ways to use these innate energies. Each person has his or her own experience of the universe, and the chart describes the most graceful and effortless way to regain enlightenment.
Attachment- Wanting someone or something to be the way we want it to be, and refusing to accept things the way they are actuality. Attachment is a fear response that means we think the strength and security we need come from outside of ourselves. Controlling people are typically very attached to particular outcome(s).
Avoidance- Denial; not wanting to acknowledge something. Denial can be passive, as in unconsciousness, or it can be active, as in expressing unwillingness to accept something. Refusal to accept is not always avoidance; this is where feedback from others can sometimes help. It may mean we are choosing not to get involved in something unhealthy for us.
Awareness- Consciousness, perception, knowing; the part of self that "is."
Birth Chart- Planetary positions erected in an astrological chart for the moment of an individual's birth. This is a valuable way to gain insight into conscious and unconscious beliefs and attitudes. It is also a road map for understanding the reason our lives happen the way they do, especially during the different phases of growth that happen over a lifetime. The idea is to ultimately not be held back by the limitations shown in the chart.
Birth Trauma- The negative influencing factors of our birth experience. The struggle most have with birth is the trauma that convinces most people life itself is a struggle. Birth is usually traumatic, and this has a profound impact on the quality of our lives.
Birth Types- Various kinds of birth experiences, important because of the conclusions we make about life at that moment. The particular birth experience is a life-long imprint , deeply buried in the psyche. This will often affect how we respond to change and relationships in negative ways, long after we know better. The name Rebirthing came about in part because the breathing process helps people release the negative after-affects of birth.
Boredom- What we experience when we don't want to feel the emotion that most needs to surface in our bodies. Boredom is the feeling that nothing satisfies or interests us. This is the result of suppressing our passion for something that is at once both exciting and fearful. For example, if it's time to change careers and we are too scared to deal with it, boredom can result.
Chakras- The human body, in addition to the physical body, has an energy body, or aura, also known as the etheric body. This energy body is the organizing energy of the physical body. The source of all physical ailments and diseases is the etheric body. When the organizer of the physical body is out of the balance, then physical problems occur.
The chakras are locations in the etheric body where different energy sources reside. There are seven main chakras, each representing a different aspect of the energy body. For instance, the heart chakra has to do with issues of loving and being loved. As the center chakra, love is the most important question to mastery of life. Similarly, the physical heart is the most important organ for staying alive. We can stay alive without most any other organ (to varying degrees) except the heart.
Co-Dependence- Believing that what someone else thinks about you is important for any reason. Typically, co-dependence is seen as unreasonable dedication to relationships, a strong need for approval from others, unhealthy addictions to drugs, work, or any kind of destructive behavior. A great deal of co-dependent behavior is compulsive and unconscious.
Commitment- A measure of dedication or obligation; means staying with a project or a relationship until resolution occurs. (see Discipline)
Communication- The art of conveying one's personal experience of life to another person. Approximately 75% of all communication is non-verbal and the other 25% is actually verbal. Non-verbal communication is often more important because people respond more to how something is said than what is said.
The ways we communicate non-verbally are by our body posture, gestures and movements, and most importantly, by the feelings we carry in our bodies. Most are unaware how powerful an influence on relationships this level of interaction really is.
Because we are all connected emotionally, we subconsciously know the truth about everything. When others deny what they are feeling in conversation, there's always some degree of discomfort or awkwardness. Since we are all very intuitive (whether or not we know it), we recognize the other person's inner friction caused by denial of the truth.
Compulsive Behavior- Behavior that does not match conscious self-image. For instance, there are times when we know the appropriate behavior, yet we see ourselves acting out something very different.
Compulsions are the result of suppressed feelings. When we suppress anger, we get angry at things that ordinarily would not be upsetting. This is an example of our thoughts about ourselves not matching our feelings. It also illustrates the power of emotions in our lives and the desirability of mastering them.
Conscious Connected Breathing- Another term for Rebirthing that describes the breathing rhythm. The emphasis is on pulling the inhale, dropping the exhale, and keeping the inhale and exhale connected in a circular breathing rhythm.
Consciousness- Awareness; knowing; perception. One of the most important goals of personal growth is to simply be aware of all the things happening around us and choosing the ones we want to include in our own lives.
Death Urge- Conscious and unconscious attitudes and behavior that reflect the belief death is inevitable
Deathist Philosophy- Deathist philosophy is the belief that death is an inevitable fact of life; that our bodies finally wear out with age; or that we have to die and there is no choice about any of this process.
Denial- Refusal to acknowledge the truth, even when presented with clear evidence to the contrary. Denial is a form of suppression, which invariably leads to compulsive behavior.
Depression- Similar to boredom, depression is suppressed passion. Unlike boredom, however, depression seems to be deeper-seated feelings of not deserving or being lovable. Depression comes from being locked in place by fear of change. There is always a desire for something to happen that we are resisting or suppressing. When we let ourselves have that experience of going through the fear, depression clears away.
Discipline- Discipline is remembering what we want. With clear purpose or goals in mind, it is easier to do what it takes to achieve the desired result. This takes the guilt and should out of our actions, and replaces them with excitement and enjoyment.
Drama- Crisis situations with high emotional content; lots of acting out, based on the belief that everything must have urgency, emotions, and fears attached to be of any value. Sometimes drama is created just for the adrenalin rush.
Drugs- Substances used to alter chemical balances in the body. Some are used for physical effects, and some affect consciousness. Drugs are also used to suppress certain feelings. Nicotine suppresses anger, marijuana suppresses sadness, caffeine suppresses other kinds of suppression. For those who were born under anesthesia, drugs are sometimes used to duplicate our initial experience of being alive in the world.
Medical drug use can aid in physical healings or block the brain's awareness of pain, which often helps people get through their ailment.
Ego- An often-maligned part of ourselves that has some important functions in our lives. On a practical level, ego is what helps us define clear personal boundaries between self and others. One of the hallmarks of co-dependent behavior is lack of self-definition. Ego relates to logic and intellect and helps us decide what choices are most appropriate for us. It also filters out ninety per cent of the input and stimulus we receive from the world so that we are not overwhelmed by it. Ego can be used for selfish ends; however, it is not negative of itself. The important question is the motive for its use.
Emotion- A feeling in action; an expression of how we feel about something. For instance, anger can be an emotional expression of feeling frustration.
Energy- Called ether by the ancients, this is the fundamental substance of the Universe; energy can be power, love, psychic vibrations, emotional attitudes, or feelings. It is a capacity for vigorous activity, whether within oneself, between people, or in the environment (natural world). This is reality between people, not the words we attach to our experiences.
Enlightenment- The knowledge that we each create our own realities, and the experience of that principle. This does not mean we always live in an enlightened way, but it does mean there is no question about the principle. Once we master this approach to life, we are not tied to the cycles of physical death and rebirth. We can be released from the wheel of karma.
Existence- Reality; God, the universe, and everything in it.
Expectations- Attachment to outcome. Expectation is a distorted version of a goal. Things usually never turn out the way we expect, and yet we often get what we want. Learning to take life as it comes is a less stressful way to be. The higher our self-esteem, the easier it is to release expectations.
Experience- (verb) The events that happen around us; the physical living out of something, as opposed to just thinking about it. Experiencing a kiss involves feeling the emotions and the physical contact, as well as seeing lips touching each other.
Experience- (noun) An event that has happened in our lives. An experience of a roller coaster has physical sensations long remembered after the actual event.
Fear- A feeling that results from believing we won't or can't get what we think we need for survival. The truth of the universe is that there is an abundant supply of anything we could wish, and the only reason we don't experience life that way is because we don't believe in this limitlessness. (see Melodrama)
Feeling- State of being inside; an attitude about something. There is a feeling inside about everything with which we come into contact: we always have feelings whether we are conscious of them or not.
Female (Feminine) Energy- This is the passive, receptive, feeling side in each of us. Feminine energy is open to all possibilities. Intuition, sensitivity, psychic awareness, passion, intensity, and emotions reside here. Corresponding to the earth and water astrological signs, and the Moon, Venus, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto, this is also the so-called dark side, the largely unconscious part of us.
Most importantly, this unconscious side is where we carry our deepest attitudes and beliefs about life. Compulsive behavior comes from here, particularly when our conscious beliefs don't match what we carry on the emotional level.
Five Biggies- Leonard Orr's list of the most significant events in people's lives: Conception and Birth Trauma, Parental Disapproval Syndrome, Unconscious Death Urge, Other Specific Negatives, and Past Lives. In some ways, all of these are variations of past life patterns. Parental Disapproval Syndrome, Unconscious Death Urge, and Other Specific Negatives all reflect the beliefs and decisions we carry from the birth experience. Past Lives describe patterns we carry into this life that usually get reinforced by our experiences. (see individual listings)
Forgiveness- The internal shift that frees us from past self-judgements and compulsive behaviors. Feeling all the disappointment and sadness of our past mistakes is what leads us to the point of forgiveness.
Forgiveness means we stop being angry or judgmental about past actions. (There may still be details to handle, such as filing the paperwork for a divorce). Once this forgiveness happens, then we can truly change the parts inside that are no longer appropriate for who we are now. Until forgiveness happens, it is not possible to change because all our creative energy is locked in inner power struggle. (see Integration)
Frustration- What we experience when we consciously or unconsciously interfere with our heart's desire. We always have dreams, what we would most like to do as part of our purpose for being on earth. When we suppress those dreams, frustration is the result, and anger is usually the experience.
Goal- A specific desired result. Goals are important to keep us from being bored. They also help us organize our time so that we can accomplish certain things. It isn't as important to reach these goals as it is to have them, because once we accomplish a goal, we get to set another, or we stop growing. Part of the limitlessness of the universe is that life can always get better.(see Purpose) While the goal matters, it's the journey, or how we get there, that is really the point.
God- Infinite intelligence; infinite being; infinite manifestation; unlimited consciousness- within each living entity. As the creator of the universe and everything in it, God always says "Yes." If we believe life has to be a struggle, God loves us enough to allow us to struggle in all the ways we choose. If we believe life is Heaven on Earth, God allows us to experience it that particular way. Seeing God as a totally loving energy frees us to make our own choices, because S/He always supports us.
Grace- Grace can defined as being chosen to receive God's love. The belief is that we are here to get God's grace, and that will save us from Hell. This bestowal of grace can seem a bit arbitrary and there may be no clear way to insure it happens. Unfortunately, this line of thinking reinforces guilt and unworthiness.
Grace is not arbitrary. It is always within and around us, once we release our guilt- the guilt we have from thinking we could actually be separate from God and fearing He would punish us. Grace is God's forgiving mercy, which is always available to us.
Guidance- Assistance we receive from the universe. Guidance can be messages we receive through other people, through our own channeling, or from inside of self. Some messages start out as subtle signals about the most appropriate life-choices at any given moment, increasing in volume until we create accidents or illness to let us know we are not in alignment with our life purpose. Other times we ask for and receive specific replies to questions. Guidance is always available, and the signals are everywhere, if we are open to receiving it.
Guilt- Guilt is thinking we aren't good enough, we haven't done enough, and/or we'll never be able to do enough. Feeling that we don't deserve is also guilt. Thoughts that reinforce a belief we are bad and deserve punishment are the main sources of guilt feelings. The presence of guilt always demands punishment.
Healing- Returning to a state of receiving the full measure of God's love. This can happen as a result of a hospital visit to cure a physical problem, a Rebirthing session, or anything that helps us open to the innate wisdom in the body. Without interference from suppression or resistance, the body returns to a state of perfect health. This healing also occurs in the mental and emotional "bodies". We are all already whole and healed in God's eyes- we just forget that truth, thus creating disease.
Higher Self- The part of self that knows our true life purpose; or our heart's desire. We all came to earth for a specific individual reason, and losing touch with that purpose leads to an experience of life that feels empty, meaningless, and boring. Understanding that our higher self is directly related to the God energy within each of us keeps us on purpose in our lives.
Hyperventilation- Defined as very rapid deep breathing resulting in a decrease of carbon dioxide in the blood. Hyperventilation is caused by forcing the exhale when breathing. It is impossible to create this condition if the guidelines for Rebirthing are followed, i.e., the emphasis is on the inhale, with complete relaxation on the exhale.
Immortalist Philosophy- The belief that we can live as long as we want. It isn't necessarily about living forever. It just means we can stay to accomplish our life's purpose, and leave when we choose. The advantage of this philosophy is that it takes all the urgency out of living.
If we believe that we chose to be born, then we also choose when we die. Many people would rather die than know the truth of their feelings. When we are willing to explore inside ourselves, life starts being so much fun, and why would we want to stop living?
We now have the emotional technology to resolve all the inner emotional conflicts in us. There is no shortage of tools to assist us in achieving enlightenment and maintaining it as long as we want. The challenge to this is sustaining the willingness to clear old beliefs and allowing this much love into our lives. At this point, we can actually "youth" our bodies instead of aging.
Innate Intelligence- The body has a natural tendency toward health and growth. It is possible for us to interfere with these natural processes. Resistance and suppression of feelings in particular are a major intrusion on the physical level, and sometimes people suppress so much the body dies.
Inner Child- Literally the part inside that feels like a child in certain situations. If our inner child does not feel safe giving and receiving love, there is no amount of intellectual work that will create successful relationships. Rebirthing and similar tools address the unfinished business from our past and create the sense of inner safety and strength that allow relationships to work.
There are several stages of growth through which we move, with varying degrees of success or completion. These can be defined as the child, the adolescent, the young adult, and the mature adult. The inner child seems to represent the part dealing most with issues of safety, security, and comfort- in other words, survival. When we are caught in fears about our very survival, there is usually no room for healthy relationships, since our potentially creative energy is being used solely for survival purposes.
The change occurs when we love the part inside that feels demanding and selfish and not try to make it go away.
Integration- The experience at the end of a successful Rebirthing session. Integration is ceasing to separate existence with judgements of right and wrong. Integration means acknowledging the existence and value of everything simply because it does exist. (This acknowledgment does not mean, for instance, that we would want to spend time with those we feel have hurt us in the past. It just means we have accepted their existence and behavior without feeling anger when we think of these people.)
Integration of fear means accepting its existence without trying to make it go away. The value of integration is that it allows, in this example, the release of passion that can be used in positive, creative ways. (see Surrender, Acceptance) It is being in complete balance- inwardly or outwardly. It is understanding and feeling that everything is really okay.
Integrity- Living life in accordance to one's own inner moral code. Living in integrity contributes much to one's positive self-esteem. It is difficult to feel good about self when not living according to our own truths. It also includes being honest about our feelings to self and others.
Intention- Our conscious and unconscious choices about life; intentions initiate change, which creates results. Clear living means changing our intentions when we don't get what we want, rather than arguing with the results.
Intuition- Non-physical sense awareness; knowing without being told. Intuition is the same as psychic awareness, and everybody has it. People are conscious of this sense to varying degrees. What we generally sense with intuition are emotions and feelings. Rebirthing, and other similar techniques, enhance and expand intuition.
Judgment- An assessment of a person or situation's value to us. More often the connotation is that judgment implies a negative opinion. Indeed, the negative judgments we hold are an indication of less than unconditional love for self and others. One goal of personal growth is finding we have progressively fewer negative judgments about life.
Karma- Unfinished business and its consequences in our lives. Karma is not something that happens to us. It is a result of our belief systems. If we believe we have unfinished business from some past situation, then that is our karma. As soon as we believe in our hearts this has been handled, the karma has cleared.
The purpose of karma is to make sure we learn the lesson of each situation. Once we do that, our karma is finished in that instance. Learning the lesson can be a completely internal process. It does not necessarily involve an outer doing.
Another level of karma is dealing with actions from past situations. Every action has an effect and creates results. Sometimes we have echoes of past actions in our lives that require attention. Our karma is that we have the opportunity to be responsible and deal with the results of those actions.
For example, getting a student loan to attend college means that one has to make repayment eventually. The lesson of responsibility in this instance can be learned in the act of repayment.
Another view is that our birth chart shows our past-life karma- the lessons we did and didn't learn. We are dealing with the results of those actions in this life, also.
Life Urge- The impetus to growth, expansion and healthy living. As long as we are still alive, our life urge is stronger than our death urge. (see Unconscious Death Urge)
Love (noun)- Love, or feeling a lack of it, is the prime motivating energy in the universe. All our thoughts, words, and deeds revolve around getting and sustaining enough love for ourselves. When we don't think we have enough, then we begin to do desperate and demanding things. When we feel we do have enough, then there is a peace we experience that cannot be created any other way. There is no substitute for having enough love, and many of our unhealthy actions are a result of resisting the process to come back to a state of unconditional self-love.
Love (verb)- The experience of unconditionally accepting self, someone, or something exactly the way it is and feeling a strong emotional connection with that person or thing. It isn't love to feel that connection and expect certain things to happen so that we can hold on to that feeling. It isn't love to get attached and try to control others so that we can keep feeling safe. This usually creates resentment all around.
Male (Masculine) Energy- This is the active, assertive, logical, doing part of each of us. It is the part inside that structures, organizes, and makes choices from a range of possibilities. This energy corresponds with the fire and air astrological signs (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius) and the Sun, Mars, Jupiter, and Uranus.
Manipulation- Using someone to get something. This term generally has a negative implication, but this is not always the case. We manipulate others to get attention or love. Manipulation is often used when we are afraid to ask for what we want out loud, so we take what we want anyway, without letting others know what our actions really mean.
Manipulation is used in many positive ways, too. Rebirthing a client involves helping them discover themselves. Sometimes this process is enhanced by being more directive with the client- gently guiding them to what, for others, may be quite obvious. Most growth techniques that work are the ones that allow us to forget who we are for moments of time. In those seconds, we are able to gain a larger perspective of life, and let in more love, which usually leads to a more forgiving attitude.
Melodrama- Intense emotional experiences that are not necessarily part of our conscious desires or goals. Melodrama is usually created when we need to express our passion, but we are afraid to direct it into our higher purpose. Rushing from crisis to crisis can be gratifying rescue work, and sometimes this constant motion may prevent us from doing our own internal housekeeping.
Melodrama often results from choosing situations, personal and professional, that do not challenge us. If our personal goals do not excite and scare us, then there is excess energy that has to be expressed somewhere. That's when the melodrama occurs.
Melodrama is an intense experience, and so is a healthy, challenging life. If it's not fun, then it's probably melodrama and we need to reassess where we focus our attention.
Money- A medium of exchange and a way we reward and pleasure ourselves. Money is used to purchase services and goods. Money is how we can allow strangers to love us, by their contribution to our continued success and well-being. It can also be a way to acknowledge others
Morals- Personal definition of appropriate and inappropriate actions and attitudes; guiding influence(s) for behavior, attitude, and faith.
Motive- Our reason or reasons for acting the ways we do. From a feeling of lack and need, often our motives are selfish and demanding. From a feeling of security and abundance, usually our motives are clear and loving. Since results reflect the truth of our beliefs about life, not succeeding reflects a motivation of not deserving.
Need(s)/Neediness- Needs are things we think we require for our survival. This might be someone else's love, more money, food, or other necessities. Using the word need in conversation implies we may not survive without what we say we need. The truth is we have all we need inside us, even to the point of being able to live only on air, and dematerialize and materialize our bodies at will. We might think we need something is because we have forgotten the strengths we have always possessed, or we keep affirming it by using the word "need" (such as "I need your life to be happy."). (see Preferences)
Other Specific Negatives- In the sense of the "Five Biggies", these are experiences that leave deep emotional imprints on us. For instance, fear of speaking in public may have come partly from negative criticism from a third grade teacher as we gave an oral exam. It could also come from being told to "be seen, not heard" by our parents. Whether or not the comments were true is less important than the effect of believing they were the truth.
Out Of Body- An experience of awareness being focused outside of one's body. One result of this is not being aware of feelings, especially if we don't know we are unconscious. Most often learned as a defense mechanism to avoid uncomfortable emotional situations, it is also done consciously for exploration of other realities. Many people spend a significant amount of time out of body and are not aware of it. This lack of awareness is usually seen by others as someone not really here- "lights on, but no one's home."
Parental Disapproval Syndrome (PDS)- The attitude of self-distrust we learn from our parents. Since what we feel about ourselves is the standard by which we judge others, if we do not like ourselves, then we will (1) not like others around us, and (2) they will not like us. The word "love" can replace the word "like" in the previous sentence.
Examples are endless, such as "Do as I say, not as I do," or being punished for telling the truth about family secrets. Physical hitting, verbal abuse, and constant criticism are other examples. The child left at school the first day could feel this is a traumatic event, while Mom sees it as a positive first step to the child's growth and well-being. If it's never resolved between them, as the child becomes an adult, this memory is tucked away and can cause feelings of abandonment or distrust in later relationships.
Passion- Excitement for living; the creative urge; the energy that keeps the animal kingdom and human race on the planet. Passion is the drive for union and is a holy energy. Part of the challenge is allowing self to be swept away by the intensity- out of control- and, conversely, wanting to "control one's animal urges."
Past Lives- The experiences we had in former lifetimes. Exploration of these prior times can be valuable in certain instances. It appears as unfinished business from those lives and is a part of life now. We are the sum of our past experiences in this and other lives. We are now working on the lessons our souls have not completed as of this lifetime.
Patterns- Patterns are the habits in our lives; for each individual, they are "how life is." They are what we learned first or best, and they are how we usually act and respond. Most patterns of behavior are unconscious, having been reinforced mostly in pre-verbal times. Dealing with primary issues from this lifetime usually will clear up anything unresolved from past lives.
Personal Growth- Knowing that the universe offers unlimited possibilities, and personally experiencing this abundance more of the time.
Usually, the steps in growth are awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness. Tools like Rebirthing increase the awareness. Taking responsibility for our actions and results is the acceptance. Going through the anger and then the sadness (which Rebirthing also makes easier) then allows us to forgive. Once the forgiveness happens, we are no longer locked in internal warfare, all our energies are in alignment, and conscious choice for change can occur. When people make life choices in love and clarity, they are more successful in all of them.
Physical Immortality- The ability to literally live forever, in ever-increasing youth, health, and vitality. This is one of the goals of Rebirthing and of mastering life. It is possible to live for as long as we want (which may not be forever). The idea is to make a conscious choice to keep living or not, rather than having unconscious beliefs about mortality that finally convince us to die. The Bible says "God hath put eternity into the heart of man."
Power- Influence; the ability to create; the force behind action (but not the action itself); the energy of the Universe and God. Another word for power is love. Expression of power always creates change. Power does not only mean dominion over others, nor does its expression only imply harm to others. Power itself is neutral. Much of its effect is determined by the motive for its use.(see Energy)
Preferences- Conditions of life we most like for ourselves. As opposed to needs, preferences are what we want to attain or have around us. This word also implies being willing to use what the universe provides. People who are insecure tend to deny the value of something completely if it isn't exactly what they want, rather than taking advantage of what is offered. (see Need)
Prime Negative Operating Law- Our deepest negative beliefs about ourselves and life. Most people have one or more laws saying "I'm not good enough," or "I don't deserve it," or "I'm not lovable." Successful conscious growth work changes the degree to which we still believe this old thought. The old law may never completely stop being a part of our lives, but it can have progressively less negative effect on us over time.
Process (verb)- Processing means acknowledging the truth of generally uncomfortable feelings and emotions, versus suppressing them. Processing feelings about a romantic partner, for instance, might mean admitting we also have fears about the relationship. Typically, the fear is people will leave if we get upset, or if we aren't perfect.
There is no other way to change unhealthy behavior except to process feelings. It requires we access the emotional side of self and heal old wounds. Once we do that, we are no longer held back by limited thinking, which denies the experience of earth as Heaven.
Talking with someone and listening actively to another's story is a part of processing someone.
Process (noun)- A technique or tool that speeds the emotional healing necessary for successful, fulfilling living.
Projection- Getting others to act out the parts of self with which we are uncomfortable. A classic example of projection is how a man often lets his romantic partner act out the emotions for both of them. Particularly when the man is shut down emotionally, he is more likely to draw very emotional women. (see Reflection)
Purpose- A consciously chosen specific direction for one's life. This can be teaching, singing, racing cars, etc. The value of having a life purpose is that we are more focused, more able to contribute in positive ways to society, and we are not bored, a condition generally leading to a destructive life.
Reality- What it is that actually happens between people (based on their individual belief systems). This is the experiential, feeling, emotional level of existence. How we respond to life is more determined by how we feel about things than by what we think about things. Our reactions and responses to others are determined by what we feel more than by what we hear.
What we feel is mostly unconscious. This is why words said to us sometimes make sense but don't feel good. Learning to listen on the feeling level is an essential skill to living consciously and making clear life choices. If we grew up in families where no one told the truth about their feelings, life looks very confusing until we begin to explore our emotional level consciously.
Rebirthing- Conscious Connected Breathing. Physically, Rebirthing is a simple breathing technique with the emphasis on the inhale and a relaxed exhale. The inhale and exhale are connected in a circular breathing rhythm.
Emotionally, Rebirthing begins to dissolve suppression in the body, which is the source of compulsive behavior. The more comfortable we are knowing the truth of our feelings, the more successful we are at life.
Reflection- Because we only recognize and attract people who are like us, we are always seeing ourselves reflected back by these people. We typically don't recognize anything else, so we are not drawn to it. Because it is outside our personal field of experience, it tends to not come to our awareness. The challenge is seeing unpleasant qualities about others and recognizing them in self, too.
Whether or not it is conscious, we are always getting to look at ourselves being reflected back to us all the time. This is a great way to get a sense of how well we are doing in the game of life. If you notice your friends are in pretty good shape, and successful at life, then chances are good you are too. Similarly, if your friends don't look so good (or you don't have any), then it is time to get some assistance. (see Projection)
Reincarnation- The belief that we have many physical lifetimes on earth as one soul. Since each successive life is a sum of past experiences, lessons learned, and issues unresolved, it is wise to think long term concerning our actions. We never get away from ourselves. Even if no one else catches us taking short cuts, we always know it in our hearts and carry it with us. We also carry the disappointment and anger at our lack of clarity and trust in self and life.
Living clean means being willing to assume we never get away with anything and that we stop trying to get different results from the same behavior.
Responsibility- Commitment to an outcome in a certain situation; accepting accountability for our beliefs and actions. Responsibility means conscious involvement in the result. Taking responsibility for one's life means knowing we only experience what we believe, and we are the cause of our lives. If we see parts we don't like, it is our responsibility to change the belief that caused it, and not blame others for victimizing us.
Sabotage- Willful behavior that is damaging to self or others, generally the result of destructive belief systems. Feelings of not deserving can come from almost anywhere- beliefs internalized from being in the womb and feeling unwanted, from a difficult birth experience, from less than totally loving parents, or from hard experiences later in life. Sabotage is always self-sabotage: we are never victims of situations unless we agree to have that particular experience with others. Usually this agreement to fail is unconscious because we think we want to succeed.
Sadness- Sadness is an unhappy, regretful, and painful feeling experienced in one's own body. Sadness is disappointment in ourselves that we did not experience the outcome we wanted in a situation. Often sadness is covered by anger. Or, sometimes a person's first fear response to an upsetting situation is anger, because anger can be directed out at others and isn't necessarily felt as sadness in the body.
Self-esteem- Self-love and self-like. Esteem is partly a result of living in accord with our inner moral code. Loss of esteem comes from believing that we are anything less than a divine creation of God. We build self-love when we forgive ourselves for thinking we ever did anything wrong in the eyes of God. Self-esteem is valuable because people with high esteem usually succeed at life, while others tend to struggle more.
Settling- Accepting less than what we really wanted; not being willing to risk for fear of failure.
Shame- Criticism or being reprimanded by another. Whereas guilt is self-inflicted, shame comes from others.
Spirit- Derived from the Latin spiritus meaning breath. Spirit is as physically elusive as air, yet it is the essence of life. Breath is the connection between the physical and the spiritual.
Spiritual Growth- Related to personal growth, but it is more concerned with the relationship between self and God, and how to incorporate that in a practical way into daily life.
Struggle- The effort we exert suppressing our divinity and self-love. One source of struggle is the belief that we could lose God's love. Another source of difficulty is birth, which is the first traumatic experience for most people.
Submission- Giving up or giving in. Implies being under the influence of someone or something else's will.
Suffering- Implies being subjected to struggling with life and thinking that's what we deserve. Some people suffer now at jobs they hate, to build up a bank account so they don't have to suffer as much later. Others believe it leads to enlightenment. However, suffering only leads to suffering. Pain may be inevitable; however, suffering is definitely optional.
Suppression- The denial of feelings until they are no longer conscious. Because we experience both fear and joy as an adrenaline rush in the body, when we suppress any fear feelings, we also suppress the ability to feel joy and love to the same degree. When we resist the truth of our feelings, generally our physical and mental health is adversely affected.
Surrender- Acknowledging the truth of what is. Surrender is not giving up or submitting to something. Surrender in a love relationship, for instance, means admitting the truth of the feelings that may be present, and ceasing to resist them, so that intimacy may happen. Each person's job is to allow the other's love to be received and stop resisting or controlling the situation. Surrender implies a letting go of a fight, which allows a space for conflict resolution and forgiveness.
Survival Mode- Living in fear that there may not be enough money or love for our needs. If survival is not handled, it will supercede any other thought or action.
Time- The measurement of how long something has lasted or is lasting. There are two kinds of time, corresponding to two different kinds of awareness.
Momentary time is a subjective experience of time passage. There is no sense of past or future- there is only awareness of the present moment. This corresponds to the emotional, experiential level inside us. People "lose track" of time in momentary time.
Linear time is an objective experience. There is an awareness of past, present, and future. However, this is not experiential. It is thinking about the experience. The value of linear time is that we don't get lost in experience and we do make our appointments on time, etc. Both are valuable for their own reasons. The ideal is a balance of the two.
Tithing- Supporting those people and institutions that help us heal and/or grow with a percentage of income or actual service.
Trust- Safety; believing what someone says about themselves or life; feeling safe in present company or circumstances. Most importantly, it is the belief in the integrity of self and God within.
Truth- There are two kinds of truth: the way the universal law works, and the way we believe it works. Suppression of feelings results in confusion about the truth, partly because we lose consciousness about it, and partly because we begin to rely on our intellect to make choices about feelings. In other words, as we suppress, our awareness is focused on our intellect and we lose consciousness of feelings.
Confusion is a result of losing touch with the truth of our feelings. The more we increase awareness of our feelings, without judging or changing them, the easier and better life works.
Unconditional Love- The goal of personal growth. Some think this term means giving up what we want just to make someone else happy. That is submission. Unconditional love is a respect for self and others, exactly the way we are right now. There are no other conditions needing to be met before we acknowledge this love. Another part of unconditional love is choosing to let go of those with whom we disagree, rather than trying to change them to our ways.
Self-love means choosing not to be a part of situations or relationships that do not meet our desires or goals. This awareness might become conscious in the middle of an unhealthy relationship, and the corrective action required might to be to let go of the other person.
This does not mean we try to change the other or stop loving them, nor do we give up our own preferences. We simply choose to be in a different place. This course of action is most respectful of all involved.
Unconsciousness- Lack of awareness, lack of perception, not believing or knowing something exists when in fact it does. Unconsciousness is often used to hide the truth of our actions or the motivations for those actions from ourselves and others.
Unconscious Death Urge- A belief that death is inevitable that has been suppressed into unconsciousness; compulsive sabotage patterns. Anything in our lives that creates the experience of failure, struggle, disappointment, separation, anger, or sadness is the result of this urge. Ultimately this is the part of us that would rather die than know the truth of our feelings. It sounds strange that this fear would create such extreme behavior, but it does.
Urgency- The feeling there is not enough time. Usually this is stimulated by the feeling we are not adequate to or don't have the resources to accomplish the task(s) at hand in our lives.
Victim- Feeling our lives are run by forces stronger than we are; feeling at effect of someone or something else.
Victim Consciousness- Holding on to the habitual belief that something other than self is in charge of our life. It generates lower self-esteem and enhances feelings of helplessness and/or hopelessness, with accompanying bitterness or depression.
Willingness- Choosing to grow, not because others want us to, but because we want to.
Witness- The part of our inner awareness that always knows the truth of our feelings and motivations. This awareness may be a very faint voice inside; practice in listening increases the ability to hear it. Loss of self love, guilt, and anger with ourselves are all a result of refusing to listen to this inner guidance. It is generally a more detached and neutral part of our mind.